Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Bodily Functions & Marriage

Mr. Lukie & I have known one another for...it will be 2 years in just a matter of weeks. We have been together for 1.5 years in just a matter of days. We have been living together & married for 6 months in just a matter of days.

Peeing with the bathroom door wide open is not done in our home. (Maybe it's not done because of the set up of our bathroom, and you cannot physically pee in the toilet with the door open. Suddenly, I no longer loathe our bathroom...) Going #2 while a spouse is in the shower is not done in our home. But #1? That's acceptable. It is NOT acceptable, however, to pee in the shower when the shower is occupied by both spouses.

I don't toot in front of my husband. Not purposely, anyway. There have been a few times that I have been made aware of (either by my paranoid self, or by my loving husband) the fact that I tooted in my sleep. When I first started sleeping over at Mr. Lukie's place during the initial courtship, I remember waking myself up one night from a dead sleep because I had let a bit of air pass between my ass.

"Ohmygosh! Did he hear that? I mean, it woke me up...from a dead sleep! I'm SURE he heard it. Don't move. If you move, he'll know you're awake. Then he'll know you know what you did. Then you have to 'fess up to it. How embarrassing!"

But other than those few times of accidental slippage, I've never allowed my booty to burp in front of my husband. I have NO desire for my husband to see me in that light. I may be a prude, but I'd like to keep my bodily functions to a minimum around him, for as long as possible. I mean, don't get me wrong. I KNOW that Mr. Lukie knows I emit smells from my butt. I'm aware. (And OH! how I'm aware that Mr. Lukie emits smells from his).

So, you see. It's just a one-way street in our house. Mr. Lukie toots. It's something that he's seemingly been comfortable with for a large majority of our relationship. It grosses me out a bit, sure. He would never dare be so disrespectful as to performing this task ON me. He would never dare be so disrespectful (or disgusting) to christen me with a "Dutch Oven."

And yes, I also realize that this may change when I get pregnant. I've had many, many friends tell me the 'joys' of pregnancy gas...along with all of the other wonders of the body during those 9 months. But like I said, I'd like to keep my bodily functions to a minimum around him for as long as possible.

But burps? Well, he's quite enamored with my ability to sound like a man when I burp :)



5 comments:

  1. LOL! Girl, I love you! :) This is hilarious!!

    I don't toot in front of Jim either. But I'll proudly announce to him when I'm off to the bathroom to do #2! :)

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  2. I actually left Jeremy's the other night because I was bloated and paranoid I was going to fart in my sleep (well, there were other reasons too, but that was one of them that I certainly didn't tell him about)

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  3. HAHAHA LOL I am laughing so hard I am crying!! I just do not see the problem! Pee, Poop, Fart...its all good!!! :) HAHAHAHA

    Cacy and I just let it all hang out! :) I laughed so hard about the pee in the shower thing because I always try to sneak in a little potty when I am shampooing, hoping the suds will mask the tinted water but I will never forget the day Cacy exclaimed "DID YOU JUST PEEEEE???" I was sooo embarassed but doubled over in laughter at the same time!

    Like I said, its all good!! :)

    Love ya!! :) You'll get there, farts and all! :) HAHAHHA

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  4. We're, or rather I, are the same. We've been together for nearly 3 years, living together 1.3 and its still the same :)

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  5. haha I grew up around a lot of boys.

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