Sunday, September 27, 2009

Love and Respect Conference

Mr. Lukie and I attended the Love and Respect Conference this past weekend...and it was A-may-zing! We finished the book a few weeks ago (here are more of my thoughts on it) and were really, really looking forward to the conference. Though I recommend any and all couples (believers/non-believers...awesome relationships/relationships on the rocks/so-so relationships) to read the book and/or attend a conference, if ever given the opportunity, I thought I would highlight some of the really great points of the conference:
  • WIthout love, she reacts without respect. Without respect, he reacts without love. This, in turn, causes the couple to go for a spin on the "Crazy Cycle."
  • Do not allow one 'snapshot' of your relationship, of your partner, define and determine your feelings and actions toward them. Remember to look at the whole picture.
  • Get rid of the idea that women are rooted in virtue and men are rooted in vice--each of them has a NEED to be met. Don't be bogged down by the idea that men are all debaucherous.
  • We ALL need love & respect, this is a continuum. A wife, though, leans toward love and a husband toward respect.
  • Mature people do what they do not always feel like doing (i.e. being the bigger person in moving toward their partner after a fight--regardless of who "should" apologize).
  • Culture teaches that respect must be earned, whereas love must be unconditional. WRONG! Both love and respect shall be unconditional.
  • Don't place blame in your relationship. As a man of honor, and a woman of love, own up to the wrongs done and seek forgiveness. Be the mature one.
  • You wouldn't have married your husband/wife if you didn't think that they had goodwill. If goodwill exists, then most conflict is due to a misunderstanding of each spouse's core value...not out of malice.
We both left the conference feeling energized and excited to see what the future brings. We left with a better understanding of how the other operates and thinks. And I left there with a newfound respect and adoration for my husband. It has taken me almost 8 months to forgive Mr. Lukie completely, but I've finally done it. I can move on and beyond that now, without it being a nagging, pestering thought in my mind and hinderance in my heart.

2 comments:

  1. I like these messages and would like to read this book. I also like that you are proactive about building/cementing a strong foundation in your marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That sounds like a great book. I should look for that..

    ReplyDelete

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