Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Wedded Wednesday - Checking In






Wedded Wednesday is a collaboration
of married bloggers sharing their inspirations,
anecdotes, struggles and thoughts regarding
the amazing union of two separate people, as one.

It's not hard to become complacent with your role in marriage, at times. That notion of, "I do a lot around here, which is enough for me!" can take over. That thought of, "What more could he ask for, in a wife? Clean house, dinner on the table and snuggle time in the evenings--he's got it made!"

Lying in bed the other night, this feeling came over me. I realized I hadn't checked in with my husband in quite awhile about my role as his wife. I wanted and needed to know that the ways in which I was serving him were bringing him joy, but I was scared to ask. 

"Honey?"

"Mmmm?" 

(I should have known not to wait much longer than 5 minutes after laying down to ask him anything--that man falls asleep, twitching and all, in less than 30 seconds after his head hits the pillow. No joke!)

"Um. I was wondering if, um, there is anything I can do to better serve you, as your wife? I mean, uh, how can I improve in my wifely ways?"

"You're doing a wonderful job, baby" came his response. (Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to ask him as he drifted off to sleep after all?)


This is something we both started doing within the last few months, without having discussed it--but it sure opens up the lines of communication & allows for us each to ask for things we feel we are in need of, without feeling like we're demanding it. 


Do you check in with your spouse to see if there are any ways in which you can improve in your marriage? Does he check in with you? 

7 comments:

  1. We haven't done that before, but it's a neat idea. I'm not sure how well it would go over with J, but I might have to try it out.

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  2. I highly recommend that conversations happen before the mans head hits the pillow, haha! This is a very good idea, actually something we do on occasion. Not regularly, but we do ask each other how the others love tank is doing. :)

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  3. We don't do this nearly as often as we should. What a great idea!

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  4. Does he check in with you? Your blogs always seem to be about pleasing him and being good enough for him.... is there a reciprocative action on his side too? (i hope so!)

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  5. I think this is a vital question to ask every now and then. But you need to be prepared for a truthful answer. It might not be kudos. It's happened to me more than once.

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  6. My husband also falls asleep in 30 seconds (literally), whereas I am usually trying to mentally unwind and wanting to talk and ask him questions.
    I like the idea of "checking in" though. We should think about doing that once in awhile...

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  7. Ha your comment on my post makes me jealous!! I'm glad your hubby helps you out alot

    My hubby and I are good on having conversations like one you had in your post though. He even signed us up for a marriage retreat before consulting with me cause he thought it would be good for us to get away and work on us. We usually have this conversation about once every few weeks. Especially when deployments are coming up we try to be very respectful of each other's feelings and learning how the other feels about our relationship and what needs to be done to make it better

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