Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Birth Story of Ella Grace - Part IV


I spent the next hour angry. I was angry with my body for not doing what I thought it should have been doing. I was angry with my baby for not presenting the way I thought she should be. I was angry with my midwife for not being able to “fix” the issue. I was angry with God for allowing me to go through this pain. I was angry for having gotten this far in my birth plan, only to end up at the one place I absolutely did not want to give birth.

Mr. Lukie and Karen helped me to get dressed, in between contractions that were lasting 60-90 seconds, coming just 1 to 2 minutes apart. Contractions I was still not allowed to push through. While I breathed through the millionth contraction, Mr. Lukie loaded the Prius up with our hospital bags, the car seat, a pillow, and a blanket. He hopped in the drivers seat, Karen hopped in the passenger seat, and I laid down in the back seat. Carol got in her car and followed us to the hospital.

The hospital was 25 minutes away. I still had my eyes closed and hadn’t opened them since I had dilated to 7 centimeters at 6pm. But I knew the route to the hospital, so with each stop and turn, I was mentally mapping where we were. Karen was holding my hand and counting the contractions down for me as I breathed through them.

We pulled into the hospital parking lot & Mr. Lukie ran to get a wheelchair for me. I always thought it was silly, on TV shows and movies, when they showed a woman in labor being wheeled up to L&D. I now know why a wheelchair is necessary during active labor!

We arrived on the L&D floor at 5:30am. Where we were told there were NO rooms and NO beds available, that I would be stuck in the wheelchair, in the hallway, until a room or a bed was freed up. I begged for pain medication right there, curled in the fetal position in the wheelchair.

At 5:45am, we were told a room had just become available and they would get me in there and check me immediately. As I was being wheeled into the room, Karen was giving the hospital nurses and hospital midwife my history and why we had chosen to transport to the hospital. My head was still wrapped around that pain medicine—I knew I was too far into it to receive an epidural, but I just needed some relief, something to help me relax a little and get this baby out.

A nurse checked me around 6:30am and informed me that I was fully dilated at 10 centimeters, the cervical lip had disappeared, and the swelling was no longer there—it was time to have a baby!

(I don’t remember saying this, but Mr. Lukie informed me later that at this point, I said, rather loudly, “Then why the $%&* are we here?!” How embarrassing, considering I do NOT use curse words!)

Hearing those words from the nurse, I completely forgot about wanting pain medication and as soon as my next contraction came, I pushed. And it felt SO good to finally push again.

After 2 more hours of pushing, Karen informed me that with my next few pushes, I would be pushing the baby’s head out. It was just the 4 of us in the room at this point—Karen, Carol, Mr. Lukie and me. It was shift change, so we had been left alone for quite some time. With the next push, I gave it my all, and Karen told me to reach down and feel my baby’s head. So I did. It was the most amazing thing; to feel her tiny, slimy head so close to entering the world. At this point, Karen told Mr. Lukie that if he wanted to deliver his baby, he should switch places with her.

At 8:42am, on September 21, 2011, Mr. Lukie ‘caught’ our baby, and placed her on my chest. Eyes closed still, I started asking over and over what it was—boy or girl? With a mixture of laughter and tears, Mr. Lukie told me to open my eyes and look for myself—and as soon as I did, he announced, “It’s a GIRL!”

The 4 of us laughed and cried, staring at this new little miracle in awe and amazement. She was here…she was finally here! We finally knew she was a she! She didn’t cry right away, instead, she just sort of lay there in my arms, blinking her eyes and looking around. She recognized my voice and her Daddy’s voice immediately, turning towards us when one of us spoke. After a few minutes, she let out the tiniest cry—it sounded like a kitten mewing.

I lost it, then. I had been waiting just over 9 months—37 weeks, to be exact—to see my baby, hold my baby, hear my baby cry…and I had done exactly that.

We left the hospital at 11am that same day and drove home, our baby in the back seat, a new family of three. We haven’t looked back since, and I know that we never, ever will.


16 comments:

  1. Your entire story is so wonderful, thanks so much for sharing...definitely got "teary eyed" myself this part of the story when Ella was looking at you guys and then finally let out a tiny cry. Precious baby girl and such a sweet family! Good luck with everything!!

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  2. Adorable family picture!!! It's funny how what we want and how things end up aren't always the same, but the beauty is that God still entrusts us with a little life to care for, regardless of how and where they were born. Beautiful story!

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  3. Oh my...tears... all over the place...
    Amazing! Isn't it something how "God's time"
    works.
    Thank You So much for sharing this with us.
    I am truly grateful.
    I hope you never look back. And I wish you nothing buth health, Joy, Bliss and Laughter, every day of your lives.
    God Bless you in every step of the maternity journey!

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  4. Loved this, Sarah. What a beautiful story. I loved the part where Ella just stared up at you two and let out a little cry :)

    I did have to laugh a bit at the part where you swore. I remember losing it in the delivery room while pushing and I think I apologized to my nurse 100 times afterwards.

    You did it, mama! You may have gone to the hospital, but you did it ALL BY YOURSELF!! Be proud!

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  5. Oh! I am so, so, so happy for you! I am so glad you got your natural birth, even if it was in the hospital. Congratulations again! :)

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  6. Again, so so proud of you! And seriously, keeping your eyes closed the whole time?! That's something!

    My heart skipped a beat and I got another surge of emotion reading this post, especially about Matt stepping in and delivering her. I'd say that's a good indication that I definitely want some babies ;)

    Love this story!

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  7. You are amazing! I seriously don't know what else to say. Amazing. Unbelievable. I too, have learned that things don't go as we envision. But seriously you rocked the $%&* out of your birth and situation. Your story brought tears to my eyes. I love the family picture. So happy for you and your new family! xoxo

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  8. Wow. Thank you for sharing your story! I bet it was all worth it when she arrived. I'm so glad everything is okay, and I hope you are at peace with your birth! I think it was beautiful, even though it didn't go as planned!! I could identify with everything you were feeling and your story made me tear up! What a memory. Congratulations!!

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  9. Just read your story, so awesome! Congratulations, she is beautiful!! ;)

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  10. Wow, what a story! I'm sOrry it didn't go totally as planned, but it was worth it, right? She's beautiful!

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  11. What a crazy birth story! I'm sorry you had to go to the hospital when you didn't want to, but I'm glad she arrived safely!

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  12. I'm glad you got the natural birth you were hoping for even though the birth itself wasn't at home like you'd hoped!

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  13. Ohhhh sweet friend of mine. I was so excited to see this post here finally! I have been checking and checking waiting ever-so-patiently (or maybe not if I kept checking) for the birth story and I am so amazed at you and the story!!

    You are and always have been such a pillar of strength. I am not surprised in the least that God allowed you to endure the long labor and pain because he made you so strong; he knew you could totally rock this. I find myself wondering where you went in your head and I am in awe at your strength and perseverance. Did you truly NOT open your eyes the WHOLE time??? haha, that gives me a giggle...and such a swelling of pride at the amazing feat my friend, my childhood wonderful, beautiful, sweet friend went through! I am soooooooo proud of you!!! :)

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  14. What an amazing birth story!!! Thank you so much for sharing. I think sometimes God changes our plans just to remind us that His is in control...but I'm so happy your were able to do the drug, free natural birth that you wanted. Even if it wasn't completely done at home. Feel proud of yourself for making it so long.

    I told Jared the other night that when we have a baby I want to try hypnobabies...his response what "whatever." :)

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  15. *sniff sniff* Thanks for sharing!

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  16. Ella was born on my dad's birthday :-)

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