Let's talk about sleep for a moment, shall we? She's never been a good sleeper. You know those people who tell you that their 10 week old is sleeping through the night? Yeah, we weren't one of them. Our 16-month old is still not sleeping through the night. And if you are one of those people I mentioned, no need to comment and remind me that there are, in fact, babies out there who actually sleep. We've had moments of decent sleep. As in, a handful of nights where she's only woken once, or woken at 4am, nursed, and gone back to sleep until 6 or 6:30am. But, more often than not, we're up two, sometimes three times per night ... yes, even at 16-months old. And we've never, ever, not once, had a full 11 or 12 hours straight of sleep without a wake up somewhere in there. The bags under my eyes have taken up permanent residence and I don't know that they would go away even if my kid decided one day to start sleeping through the night. Lately? Lately it's been going to bed at 7:30pm (after about an hour of fighting her to sleep), waking up once between 10pm and 12am, waking up again between 3 and 4am, then up for the day at 6am. Sometimes, she goes back down easily. Sometimes, there is lots of screaming and crying in protest. One thing is for certain: my child is consistently inconsistent.
I'm raising Miss Independent. Who can also be called Miss Too Smart For Her Britches. So I realize that all of these hard-headed, stubborn traits I'm up against will be really good ... when she's older. But for now, they stink. And they test my patience and make me question my ability as a mama. And they also make me do a whole heck of a lot of praying and repenting. Oh, Lord, is this child giving me a run for my money. When I relay stories to my mom about our daily struggles, she laughs. She tells me that Ella sounds exactly like another little girl that she used to know.
When Mr. Lukie told me that I gave birth to my clone, he wasn't joking. The worst part is, I know these are the easy times. Because I remember what I was like during those adolescent years toward my mom. Just one more reason I believe God has a sense of humor.